gaslight city pg 43 sexual awakening

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 040425 , 050425

 

 well there were black clouds here earlier and now there is a beautiful moon with utter stillness and it looks all icy up there
so I think some of the potion is coming from that moon

friction , abrasive, do you ever feel a hair has got caught

cohesion , flow its not a competition
punch and judy show shes a separate ball
on its own trajectory she threw herself under a horse
fighting the power of the waves

sometimes she googles for old masters of large women
you have to be careful with the search terms though
the clouds make many lights and shades Mick
and nutmeg is a good alternative with the first stage
you get the twitching and stuff but the bang is further on big waves crashing over her, hydraulic power breaking the drive belt

shes out of her depth , what if the tide is going out ? stop panicking and let the powerful ones bring you in , you can't stand up to them
they dragged her up onto the beach and she couldn't move

a big man came and got her out

open your mouth before you open your legs

her hymen has grown back after a decade of abstinence, it hurts again,  staring at the dark windy trees , makes you feel things,
I dont know, she takes her time because she wants to feel 

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Sex can't be performative but there's nothing quite like an orgasm from penetration.  If you're struggling with that try exploring the g spot with a vibrator , get your partner to hold it 

Your intellect isn't going to help x

gaslight city page 42 notes and barefoot therapist

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 050425

 

 

 Ellie gets attacked alot by victims of child sexual abuse . Ellie was abused but not to that extent , Ellie has something different as the child of a suicide , which gives her access to the afterlife . And the child abuse victims regard her as having an unfair advantage and also a weakness that they can prise open 

the effect this has on Ellie is that shes halfway between too worlds , not ill enough to be a child abuse survivor and not well enough to join the world , leaving her in some sort of limbo where shes constantly trying to bail out other peoples emotions 

060425

So she meets Jez years later and says that she wasn't ready to talk about orgasms when they were together . Too inexperienced.  And that she tends to orgasm when she's doing something wrong 

Well I'm married now he says 

And this is why I didn't want to meet you because I thought we might flirt 

We might flirt in a way I wasn't ready for at the time 

070425

In the 60s , welfare used to raid the homes of claimants looking for evidence of a partner , like shaving foam in the bathroom . Tricky these days if you're transgender 

No disabled person is privileged

gaslight city page 41 unpaid carer

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 040425

 

 im an unpaid carer myself , she says to the cleaning lady , the wife of the world , befriending those that nobody wants to see , in search of the treasures of darkness 

n sometimes ive had to fight them but only the men . biff bang pow . n being harrassed left right and centre. currently by a lady called Mary pidgeoning the tv . these world leaders need oestrogen especially the men . one of Ellies exes is on oestrogen to great effect 

n meanwhile welfare assistance keep re traumatising her with excessive emails and phone calls. and she cant discuss her care work with them because they will kill her . her functioning is impaired . this is Zeus trying to bring her to heel to get her away from Vid

one of the job coaches was nice and didnt attack her which she appreciated, but then they lost her trust by sending her two appointments in one day 

 

they ask her trick questions , asking for evidence of her rent which they said they will check out with the landlord , and then another message to day shes not provided enough evidence that its gone up ! gaslighting pure and simple !  And how many of us are starting to long for assisted dying ? 

they stress the welfare advisers to the point where they have a breakdown and leave work 

bailing out other peoples issues , Ellie has to use her own therapy sessions to talk about them , with many other people riding on that 

shes  expressing their  feelings in order to pass through them

gaslight city page 40 sexual awakening

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 310325

sometimes stillness just focusing on how rude they are to each other
when you like someone that much that you just explode from such a feast
which hits you right in the stomach making you wince with pleasure
like a massage from inside producing some sort of seizure

n maybe orgasms hold the key to the origins of the universe
around the beginning of the last century
you could be committed for cheating on your husband

even trying to get a coffee with Mick


can be very taboo and shocking they  were in the hay barn when it happened
dressing a shire horse . in the end shes  not entirely sure who it was
she dissociated it seems in a blackout he made a big burned hole in her
entirely blackened

clawing at the walls n this is what sex is like in the afterlife
apart from he has a higher sex drive than her . stormy with glimpses of stars , delerious rock n roll reaching for the sky n oh yes there was a supernova at one point it was really cosmic how they bonded

shes actually quite scared its like being kicked in the back like a zither
she wandered off a bit but she didnt want to betray him
so she steered myself back , it happened later on
and now its properly finished   

 
honking like a chimp like a monkey pounding bass of her heart
crack of lightening still not finished 

 

010425 

 

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020425 

02045 

030425 

gaslight city page 39 surveillance

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 310325

bullied ? there is one guy who would sneak up behind her 
and put his arm round her, say something insulting 
he was dirty and smelly

and she hates that feeling they think they know you 
, one time she nearly ran into traffic to get away from him 
.another one threatened to throw her in the river
 because he didn't like her feeding the gulls 


n she doesn't value her life above her freedom actually 
 
even if someone is twisting her arm or has her in a headlock ! 
shes had a brush with brutality before n shes a very huggy person n her mother was like a deer too 


they had a rich and colourful culture that was a kind of a glorious mess
she seems to be having a protest on her own

she has something to hide where state surveillance is concerned ...
transparency ? no mystery around then ...
her claim to oddness was dreams about people 
that she had not met,

she know she doesnt have privacy because people know things she hasnt told them , she can relate to being pestered every 5 minutes
and plied with memes and  she will not forget how you tried to force her hand . one of the issues with the digital age is you no longer have the opportunity to think something through before you announce it
things can be stolen even as you draft them on paper 

would she like to live in the future ? not with a world thats all about automation and proof and science that no longer needs
to value the poet's opinion no

a reminder to the ladies ... a glass or two of soya milk will raise your oestrogen levels staving off some of the menopausal bitchiness . her stalker is in some ways a very nice lady  , generous even 

have you ever felt you were switching chairs with the therapist ? !

lest they ' dump their own stuff ' back on the client 



some live in a needs based economy
she thought the free market was a bit regulated
or is that all out the window with Brexit and covid too !

peachy head

this wave of ignorance did reach even to the mental health systems 

with premature pressure to work 
, and she did seriously injure herself over this and because of the pizza tricks 
, populists are seeking to demolish
all the human rights we have built up over centuries 

octopus dependent , clones , horsemeat ? or her time machine ?
his ex thanks and hugs her for the non consensual video of her  she used
n yeah look the pizza trick has borked their relationship
and is giving them  reductive stereotypes
but where is all the celebrating ?
when its not he who will pull out the final rabbit
and there is scope for reverse psychology

gaslight city page 38 sexual awakening

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 290325

dizzy giddy light-headed faint weak at the knees unsteady shaky wobbly off-balancereeling staggering tottering. teetering woozy with legs like jelly
with rubbery legs vertiginous dazed confused muddled befuddled bewildered disorientated stupefied groggy muzzy dopey woolly not with it

orgasm gasm gasm they are cathartic and even physcial issues
can be resolved therapeutically to build desire through
other kinds of touching like for example the classic way
' taking sex off the table ' i suppose we're tearing each other apart
because we're not allowed to meet

orgasms can be catastrophic

she asked him to stay a bit in front wah wah wah wop wop n it was a bit of a shock having her petticoats ruffled up n it came as a surprise just 12 minutes in a real stinger n he dug about to get it all out Mick did
while she doubled over k now you can tell me all about world politics
while we try not to do it
n she have to try to concentrate k lets do the thing where you take it off the table to create a buildup from just cuddling !

n afterwards a blissful nothingness like the big bang in reverse
time going backwards in throbbing wumps

our ' mental health community ' in my area 
was further eroded
a freak ' mindfulness ' session layed on by a minor celebrity
which I can't name 
who had us focus on the perineum
for the whole session 
and make sexual noises ! 


must be pretty special to watch a woman masturbate because theres a good chance she'll be enjoying herself rather than trying to please  

edited 300325

gaslight city page 37 welfare assistance

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used 

this book is fictional 

edited 290325

 

the harrassment from Zeus and Fleur keeps on coming with more welfare questionnaires and interviews . Questions like can you take a pen out of your pocket . what does that have to do with schizophrenia ?

she feels too unwell even for Vid , she is ashamed . but if she offers herself to Zeus he would say hes with Cloudier . theyve been round that merry go round a few times. and if his heart were really in it with Ellie he would have made some effort to meet up as friends

n actually Vid comes through for her again and again just when she feels she has failed him. But she doesnt have the confidence to marry him at the moment what with her being so slow at things . and him wanting her to write instead of painting . she sees why ... but cant give up her painting

icy chops and tasha are not welcome . what does Ellie do all day ? cope with people like them . family friend Breda said she would help but doesnt follow through
 

i hope you get a glitch says chops


and Hildegarde bombards Ellie with tropes like robot , cube, alpha male , stump , zombie , n theyre trying to take Vid for the same treatment they gave Fleur , waterboard him and force him to mate with his ex partner , who feels that yes means future yes

welfare messages pop up when Ellie mentions these things , dystopian style. she goes for a swim where two regulars are talking about getting a ticket , theyre trying to bully her  soul out of her with zersetzung
they even said so

and cloudier is dissing her with thousands of identities, imagine how many phones she has !

mental health treatment has come a long way since Ellies mother committed suicide in Friern Barnet hospital in London in 1982 ,
just before the new mental health act of 1983 but where is it going now seemingly backwards towards the ' moral treatments ' of the Victorian era

being present in the moment 

positive psychosis ? 
oh yes lots , she remember the whole kitchen came alive like all the noises of boilers , fridges , cups and things 
sounded like music, even the creaking floorboards !the skateboard park sounded like reggae
and all the trees came to life and made sounds 

she understands certain things shes learned like ' owning your feelings '
and responding rather than reacting trying not to finger point
to refrain from ad hominem to journal and seek therapy rather than taking it out on other people , to recognise when something is about your own issues not the other persons

she described herself as progressive because after 35 years in therapy
she knows something about the latest in communication skills
and in business models actually where play , wellbeing and interactive skills are being used by the most progressive companies

and the winds of change no pun intended 
under Browns labour government 
actually scrapped the very good sheltered workshops and job clubs 
in favour of pressure to look after each other 
with no training 

and so ... we learn to gaslight the gaslighters