290619 

im unclean 
a dirty girl ... 

280619 

expecting too much from myself 
for a paranoid schizophrenic 

270619 

getting dressed up 
to go out and meet people 
its like its all a performance 

finding themselves 
in front of a screen 
with a load of issues going on 
and nobody to talk to 

pretty common these days 
a sign of the times 

270619 

i think it depends who is teaching the mindfulness 
like there were some really good CDs
where i found myself concentrating on my foot  

then there was this guy, he was a celebrity actually 
came to take our group at the mental health centre 
and had us concentrate on our genitals 
for a full hour 

this really fucked my head up 
not per se 
i would not have minded that on a green camp 
after a tree hugging workshop 

but in a  mental health centre 
it seemed to open the gates of hell
and one of the other clients 
seemed to become obsessed with me 

i went on to leave the place 
i think because they would not take us seriously 
when we complained about it 

250619 

what about 
how hard on ourselves we are 

i suppose we'd need to be patient 
with our lack of patience ! x

the gates

240619

the children don't take after us 
we take after the children 

200619 

n Scarey n i 
have a partner each 

190619 

one thing that annoys me 
is these new adverts
that are imitating spirituality ... 

your vulnerability 
is one of your most special qualities actually 

I'm sure nobody wants you to be macho 

190619

stolen light

there is alot of darkness there
but then there is alot of darkness in myself .. .
sometimes i need to work through the darkness

160619  chimp 

150619 

thing is that Scarey is married 
n we can look at the moon together 
n we might get caught 

its not a linear progression 
not lines but circles 

140619 

denying the negative 

things I've done wrong in the family 
things I've done wrong in relationships 
n all this pain 
I'm having to sit with 

im gritting my teeth 

140619 

actually no that wouldn't work 
i can't ask Starsey his opinion 
nuff said he is Oblivion 

n i will look for a cyber child ... 

130619 

need to be nice to yourself 
low self esteem 
beating yourself up 

gender neutral ? 
well not quite 
but yeah an ogre yeah 

tiny little women 

120619 

or Starey 

need to start putting Starrey 
instead of Scarey 
see if i can transfer it 

so hard 

120619 

the weight of my family is such 
that my organs have failed 

110619 

n Scarey n I 
would stare at the moon 
until all spooks hung around 

110619 

the family is like an emotional circuit 
gritting my teeth

070619 

beating ourselves up 

progress ? 
loyalty to friends 
is not something I've excelled at 

a blow to the heart 

020619 

was it an insect 
or was it a drone