Wednesday 17 April 2019



170419 


looks exactly like Gollum

shaven head, aggressive drug addict today

but i used to wake him in the morning
i would hold up his dressing gown for him
and shepherd him down the stairs for breakfast
he looked as if he had seen a murder  !

support worker knocks on his door and tells him I'm going
brother wants me to go in and announce it myself
wants a word in private he says

so i told him I'm going,
he draws me back into the room 
he tried to lock the door
so that he could tell me something about mummy
but i was scared

so i got out. now i may never know 
what he wanted to say 

feeling all his pain and his desperate attempt
to communicate his feelings
seeing such great suffering

I'm being strong, being strong
and then i crack afterwards
phoned ny OT from Lewes station

hostel workers look at me in a funny way

maybe they would like to kick him out
but they can't because of me ...

in shock, will i ever see him again ?
more PTSD 

in a cage with a wild animal 
warning bells 

I'm losing him 
' crack ' cocaine means something different for me 





No comments:

Post a Comment