jupitersterrain6: March 2025

Monday, 31 March 2025

gaslight city page 40 sexual awakening

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used

this book is fictional

edited 310325 edited 190425

sometimes stillness just focusing on how rude they are to each other  , when you like someone that much that you just explode from such a feast

which hits you right in the stomach making you wince with pleasure  like a massage from inside producing some sort of seizure   

n maybe orgasms hold the key to the origins of the universe  around the beginning of the last century you could be committed for cheating on your husband

  even trying to get a coffee with Mick    can be very taboo and shocking

they were in the hay barn when it happened  dressing a shire horse . in the end shes not entirely sure who it was  she dissociated it seems in a blackout he made a burned hole in her  entirely blackened   

clawing at the walls n this is what sex is like in the afterlife  apart from he has a higher sex drive than her . stormy with glimpses of stars , delerious rock n roll reaching for the sky n oh yes there was a supernova at one point it was really cosmic how they bonded   

shes actually quite scared its like being kicked in the back like a zither  she wandered off a bit but she didnt want to betray him  so she steered herself back , it happened later on  and now its properly finished

 honking like a chimp like a monkey pounding bass of her heart  crack of lightening still not finished

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gaslight city page 39 surveillance

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used

this book is fictional

edited 310325 , edited 190425

bullied ? there is one guy who would sneak up behind her  and put his arm round her, say something insulting  he was dirty and smelly   

and she hates that feeling they think they know you  , one time she nearly ran into traffic to get away from him  .another one threatened to throw her in the river  because he didn't like her feeding the gulls    

n she doesn't value her life above her freedom actually    

even if someone is twisting her arm or has her in a headlock !  shes had a brush with brutality before n shes a very huggy person n her mother was like a deer too

   they had a rich and colourful culture that was a kind of a glorious mess  she seems to be having a protest on her own   

she has something to hide where state surveillance is concerned ...  transparency ? no mystery around then ...  her claim to oddness was dreams about people  that she had not met,   

she know she doesnt have privacy because people know things she hasnt told them , she can relate to being pestered every 5 minutes  and plied with memes and she will not forget how you tried to force her hand . one of the issues with the digital age is you no longer have the opportunity to think something through before you announce it  things can be stolen even as you draft them on paper

 would she like to live in the future ? not with a world thats all about automation and proof and science that no longer needs  to value the poet's opinion no   

a reminder to the ladies ... a glass or two of soya milk will raise your oestrogen levels staving off some of the menopausal bitchiness . her stalker is in some ways a very nice lady , generous even

have you ever felt you were switching chairs with the therapist ? !   lest they ' dump their own stuff ' back on the client

    The disabled live in a needs based economy she thought the free market was a bit regulated or is that all out the window with Brexit and covid too !

peachy head

this wave of ignorance did reach even to the mental health systems   with premature pressure to work  , and she did seriously injure herself over this and because of the pizza tricks , where people watch her in her bedroom  , populists are seeking to demolish  all the human rights we have built up over centuries

 octopus dependent , clones , horsemeat ? or her time machine ?  his ex thanks and hugs her for the non consensual video of her she used  n yeah look the pizza trick has borked their relationship and is giving them reductive stereotypes  but where is all the celebrating ?  when its not he who will pull out the final rabbit  and there is scope for reverse psychology

Saturday, 29 March 2025

gaslight city page 38 sexual awakening

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used

this book is fictional

edited 290325 edtied 190425

dizzy giddy light-headed faint weak at the knees unsteady shaky wobbly off-balance, reeling staggering tottering. teetering woozy with legs like jelly

 with rubbery legs vertiginous dazed confused muddled befuddled bewildered disorientated stupefied groggy muzzy dopey woolly not with it  

orgasm gasm gasm they are cathartic and even physical issues  can be resolved therapeutically to build desire through  other kinds of touching like for example the classic way  ' taking sex off the table ' i suppose we're tearing each other apart  because we're not allowed to meet   

orgasms can be catastrophic   

she asked him to stay a bit in front wah wah wah wop wop n it was a bit of a shock having her petticoats ruffled up n it came as a surprise just 12 minutes in a real stinger n he dug about to get it all out Mick did  

while she doubled over k now you can tell me all about world politics  while we try not to do it  n she have to try to concentrate k lets do the thing where you take it off the table to create a buildup from just cuddling !   

n afterwards a blissful nothingness like the big bang in reverse  time going backwards in throbbing wumps   

our ' mental health community ' in my area  was further eroded  a freak ' mindfulness ' session layed on by a minor celebrity  which I can't name  who had us focus on the perineum  for the whole session  and make sexual noises !  

must be pretty special to watch a woman masturbate because theres a good chance she'll be enjoying herself rather than trying to please

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gaslight city page 37 welfare assistance

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used

this book is fictional

edited 290325 , edited 190425

the harrassment from Zeus and Fleur keeps on coming with more welfare questionnaires and interviews . Questions like can you take a pen out of your pocket . what does that have to do with schizophrenia ?   

she feels too unwell even for Vid , she is ashamed . but if she offers herself to Zeus he would say hes with Cloudier . theyve been round that merry go round a few times. and if his heart were really in it with Ellie he would have made some effort to meet up as friends

  n actually Vid comes through for her again and again just when she feels she has failed him. But she doesnt have the confidence to marry him at the moment what with her being so slow at things . and him wanting her to write instead of painting . she sees why ... but cant give up her painting

  icy chops and tasha are not welcome . what does Ellie do all day ? cope with people like them . family friend Breda said she would help but doesnt follow through  
i hope you get a glitch says chops    

and Agatha bombards Ellie with tropes like robot , cube, alpha male , stump , zombie , n theyre trying to take Vid for the same treatment they gave Fleur , waterboard him and force him to mate with his ex partner , who feels that yes means future yes   

welfare messages pop up when Ellie mentions these things , in digital dystopian style. she goes for a swim where two regulars are talking about getting a ticket , theyre trying to bully her soul out of her with zersetzung  they even said so   

and cloudier is dissing her with thousands of forum identities, imagine how many phones she has !

  mental health treatment has come a long way since Ellies mother committed suicide in Friern Barnet hospital in London in 1982 ,  just before the new mental health act of 1983 but where is it going now seemingly backwards towards the ' moral treatments ' of the Victorian era

Muriel’s death probably contributed to the new mental health act being made which included consulting the patient on their treatments and making it more difficult to section people

  being present in the moment   positive psychosis ?  oh yes lots , she remember the whole kitchen came alive like all the noises of boilers , fridges , cups and things  sounded like music, even the creaking floorboards !the skateboard park sounded like reggae  and all the trees came to life and made sounds

 she understands certain things shes learned like ' owning your feelings '  and responding rather than reacting trying not to finger point  to refrain from ad hominem, to journal and seek therapy rather than taking it out on other people , to recognise when something is about your own issues not the other persons   

she described herself as progressive because after 35 years in therapy  she knows something about the latest in communication skills  and in business models actually where play , wellbeing and interactive skills are being used by the most progressive companies   

and the winds of change no pun intended  under Browns labour government  actually scrapped the very good sheltered workshops and job clubs  in favour of pressure to look after each other  with no training
and so ... we learn to gaslight the gaslighters

Tuesday, 25 March 2025

gaslight city page 36 sexual awakening

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stare into the moon and see who you really love most but also perhaps guys need some assistance sometimes
rather than having to be the hero all the time, tearing through me like a wheel of fire

dont think about the missed bin collection

sometimes she buys mens clothes for that boyfriend jumper feeling she designed in 2021
 imagine you are standing in warm spring sunshine outside  in a nice place  
and the sunshine is going first into your heart  
and then spreading throughout your body   is what love feels like

a new her every day ! is what recovery brings her when shes turned over another stone there are worms and insects and she dig further ...a bull in a china shop smashing her chandelier they were in the dining room
at her grandpas house under the chandelier Mick gets her on the table
and then the velvet sofa

her screams smash the crystals an explosion of colour and light magic is made of contrastsshes completely flattened a bit queasy and sick

its difficult to walk afterwards intense matter ... nothing ... intense matter ... nothing ... antimatter woooohhhpp wooohhhppp wooohhhppp
throb throb throb bang its that she genuinely prefers men in the sexual sense
having sex with a man is more creepy and gritty, youre supposed to kick the football not the other players ha ha !

bloodthirsty vultures ...

he gives her butterflies , maybe she will give birth to one.Studied architecture at schoo which included phenomenology , harmonic proportions
and integral calculus like the popping of bubbles of light like being bathed in warm sunshine a ring of muscle like a snake that traps you there with its venom like if you picked up a slug it would tighten around your finger
and yes occasionally women
but she prefers the adrenalin rush that you get with a man

hes wierd and creepy how she like em , hes creative and playful with it
an aura of light shine and sparkle
the mollusc squrms and thrashes to the point where nothing exists
the null hypothesis like the audible pulsing of the tardis
where there is no matter

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gaslight city page 35 Claudia

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Ellie has met Claudia online . Claudia is a social worker on Ellies care team, which she jokes is her probation officer . k so why is her probation officer watching her bedroom on satellite in order to train herself sexually ? surely she has many tips and techniques of her own

Fleur is on the same team and encourages his married lover to abuse Ellie .

Claudia is ageist and ablist and works in care . shes number twos number two.

Agatha is another patient who is hoping to move near to Ellie to get closer to a romance with her

Claudia is Zeus partner but hes not realised it yet . hes just letting her fulfill all his needs

Ellie has met Claudia in real life too at a counselling foundation course . Ellie was talking about one of her relationships and Claudia looked jealous

Monday, 24 March 2025

gaslight city page 34 sexual awakening

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there is a lot at stake in terms of talking to strange men online
and the horror stories we hear about it and Ellie wont be ' rewarding someone with sex '
sex is something she enjoys not something she sells !

a spark of warmth

when we help someone a little bit of stardust rubs off on us, sailing through the glory of the heavens, listen with your heart
you might understand the birds

cats have magical healing powers , the woody nutty sounds
as it yowls from its bones like a little bone rattling witch , her beautiful caterwauling operas with the bellows bagpipes and drones

number 2 likes forbidden filth himself
and since when do we ' make someone happy '

i wonder if im a bit ornamental at this point, frustrated rage
raging until i explode ! mindblowing intensity BAM !
slam bam thankyou man

forbidden filth having sex with an edifice , making love to an institution
thats all wrong isnt it Mick

someone sent a spam actor into the fridge aisle of the supermarket
to make Ellie catch something and then someone said ' fuck the knuckle '

a roast ghost is a cauliflower

She’s seen stars of different colours of stars ,especially pink ones  they are playing a show of past centuries she doesnt want the teenagers to hear her
choking like the face of scream I find that

its a romantic ice breaker to say something self depreciating
to open with my lack of confidence and her worthlessness it puts the other person at ease , its a way of melting the space between us a pink lady

apple spiralling magma look like a baby thats scrunched up its face
ready for a tantrums looks like she’s being strangled , choking
in the throes of the grip of death gasping her last. The earth stopped running under her bare feet, hypnotised in a rigid trance

She was locked inside a transparent coffin , eyes scrunched up tight
dizzy like herhead will burst any minute concentrating intensely , 20s Vaudeville fringe theatre , suddenly she was bolt upright in her coffin
eyeballs hanging out celebrating her release , the audience tightened the noose , a large buzzsaw severed her in two pieces

just an illusion

Her body jerks out of the coffin like a jack in the box

boing

the head hanging from a spring long as the organs creepy
making the head bang against the wood
but the organism worked itself out over the night !
like the smiler ride at Alton Towers

n everybody go oooh oooooh
n everybody go ahhhh ahhhh ahhhh , an underground lake opened up
where magical energy is hidden , ahem,

a space ship of white light
 a scream that rang like  chimes of shattered alien glass bells

sexual empaths
she remembers groups of them as teenagers
would sometimes get hold of a magazine or a video tape for a dare
and because it was funny and entertaining and crack themselves up laughing

in some ways it has been educational in her life and entertaining the old school of porn where you would go into an adult shop then in recent years there is something more sinister with instant web cam services , revenge porn etc

what can she put in a forbidden fruit pie ? spanish oranges brie grapes
yoghurt , cocoa , raspberries strawberries redcurrents

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gaslight city page 33 fat shaming

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and then theres Petra calling Ellie a ' bucket ' or a ' pit ' , which is a sexually abusive form of fat shaming , you can get from both men and women .

Petra is Vids ex. She cheated on him because he had not made the relationship public . not a great strategy

And now is back to make a claim . this always happens when Ellie meets a new man , the ex comes out of the woodwork with a renewed sense of his value !

and Vids other ex Helga says he must screw her because he srewed her before ! Bizarre huh !

n shes not a pit actually in fact mysteriously her hymen seems to have grown back after 11 years of abstinence and then some . waiting for her peach to ripen

Zeus tries to insist that Ellie can work , going against medical advice . He failed to put her on the open market and is now trying to force her into a sheltered workshop for the disabled . he wants her to come back to him

Sunday, 23 March 2025

gaslight city page 32 sexual awakening

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she thinks try not to worry about where you mind has gone during a sexual fantasy its a bit like dreams it can be very random sometimes

 the mind tends to go where it should not go  Isn't it Mick

Mick was her online lover  this has all gone on in private for you as part of you exploring your sexuality she enjoys the sharper energy of men sometimes her naivete is one of her charms

The term "blind" comes from the fact that the players are being forced to bet on their hands without having seen their cards. such as hold em   reminds her there was a type of gambling  where you don't keep looking at your score  she thinks it was part of poker stars

men are sick of being used as baby machines.  Another molten lava guitar , she just thinks youre trying to squeeze  a square peg into a round hole   the music sounds all trippy and stuff like its melting  it sounds like they are dodging each other !

people have been known to climax at the hands of their abusers , their torturers even  its still an assault. total wipeout had her on her death bed  sometimes she has a blackout  

n the moon shone bright clear as a bell   

but did react to it   she did one without the button but then she wanted another one which didnt work out so there may be something else in there   sometimes in the scariest moments you get a surge of adrenalin and a high. She doesnt think people realise how important it is  to give yourself pleasure  to explore your feelings in private  without worrying how other people feel about it  ,  you can explore your gender,  your orientation and your preferences  and nobody needs to know what you fantasied about !  all because of some silly Victorian taboo !

Dont Tell The Groom fantasy game k so shes in charge of the wedding  and she wants another magician to make them both disappear  especially if the magician is one of her exes and youd both have ex partners at the wedding and at the end of it its called off  due to unresolved issues  like you've got to be constanty uncoupling
you will own nothing and you will be happy  is something to do with crypto currency , like a rock n roller coaster  imploded like a demolition site , theres like a drum skin in her body .
bit coin, can people be bought lock stock and barrel ?  that idea caused her GBH once  

dizzy sick and legless the climax of death the impact of the trauma  like a bullet through a trampoline

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gaslight city page 31 gang stalking

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Ellie was being chased by a man with a pane of glass in his hands . when she fell to the ground the man disappeared

concussed she hankered for playing banjo and guitar with Dad

Fleur didnt feel Ellie was doing enough to protect him from Zeus although she was blogging about his trials . and then Tasha came along and called Ellie an elephant in a green tutu . Which helped Tasha to orgasm . Ellie blocked her but she bust her way through vulnerable friend Millies emails to deliver more abuse

something she refers as a ' charging cable ' with Ellie being the source of sexual energy for her apparently . Not sure why she cant make her own , maybe she doesnt do enough exercise and shes only 45 , she stays indoors all day doing the housework for her husband

so that was the end of Ellies relationship with Fleur .and she was very lucky to get picked up by Vid , whos been very tolerant of her rebound problems and her being a wild animal

while Tasha tries to dig her way into Ellies insides with a pick axe

Ellie is trying to help little Millie who has been deprived of mental health care . They have zoom calls where they discuss things like would a cat be traumatised if you spray it with water . Not if its in the middle of a nasty cat fight they conclude . and its also a way of addressing the subject of trauma through story

Zeus is harrassing Ellie using the online journal of the welfare department . What does he want with Ellie ? shes not heard anything from him and sees him alll the time online with Cloudier

word on the street is dont let the welfare push you into anything

you gotta learn how to trust the right people when youre used to trusting the wrong people

Zeus is not a bad man, hes just a particular type of man , very closed off and militaristic and to be honest we need those guys . he needs a woman who can bring him out of himself And that woman is already Cloudier

Ellie responds more to a beta male type like Vid who can talk to her as an equal and admires her strengths . Vid doesnt usually make her feel controlled, hes there for her

Friday, 21 March 2025

gaslight city page 30 sexual awakening

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some couples have masochistic games going on which goes all the way back to little Bo peep . even in Victorian times it was considered  that a woman saying no was to be pursued for her hand in marriage  by her ardent suitor and he would wear her down   

even today many a Christian is wooed in this way

 
twitching muscles ,she feels like a helium balloon, hey why'd she blow him off like that ? dizzy wobbly shaky

number 2 has promised to marry her off to number z, because her interest in number 6 spoils the view from his window and to make the cam girl supreme , he needs to destroy Ellie and Mick so that they can usher in the new global financial order together

so if a woman is past her best in terms of looks then if she talks about sex  she is not asking for it . if they join in or initiate conversations about sex ?  if they wear revealing clothes ?   is it assumed that if a woman expresses herself sexually  that she must be issuing an invitation to somebody ?   is it only men who are allowed to broach these topics ?

Ellie was looking at her regrettable past in which in her twenties she used to get into fights with men ! the adrenalin fuelled adventures lead her to fulfill her dream of paragliding and to experience the dream world here on earth
 empathy is to feel the other persons feelings.  sexual empathy

   hypnic jerks from the narcotic injection, shes not all there what they wanna do that for ? bit of a snake bite that one way to go giving in to the black hole he could do better than me and yet here he is  and now shes inflated, bit of a scorpion sting

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gaslight city page 29 abducted by aliens

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Zeus is a hacker . hes networked with Ellies neighbours to organise annoying noises for her . And has restricted Vids movements on the internet . Again under threat of torture . he could have tried to be Ellies friend , but its too late for that now, now that shes with Vid

and the ' pidgeoning ' , putting little cryptic messages into conversations and radio station chats , piggy backing on other peoples conversations with irritating little cryptics , squawking all the day long . how do these people live with themselves ?

and Fleur has been abducted a few times by his ex partner , one time they tortured him and forced him to give her a blow job . and another time they made him fill a sample bottle with sperm for her

apparently because hes in a relationship with a vulnerable woman

at work a damaged person will make a beeline for Ellie , sit with her feet up on Ellies desk , dumping trauma so that she cant work . ' think youre going to work now do you ? youre one of the worthless people who cant work ' . And then follows her out in the lunch break to continue with the trauma dumping

she remembers falling to the ground while being chased by a man with a pane of glass . soon as she falls to the ground he disappears

Friday, 14 March 2025

gaslight city page 28 sexual awakening

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the sound of a train echoes off the stars . n they have things in common with gays and trans people , without the usual male female performative stereotypes . Hallucinating due to extreme stress and trauma , she’s a blackened hole well youre a poet so youll understand
gaze into the moon to find out where your heart lies there was a blurry double moon magical classicism with a fizzy head

Mick releases light from the root chakra
the light started at the root and went up to the crown

a space ship full of aliens spitting stars legless with no brain
amoeba and light producing enzymes , fireflies a ring of light expands and bursts like the first life form n the light explodes from her head

she feels like shes been whacked over the head

do you take this woman to be the one you usually wank about the most
she had a flashback to Notting Hill Carnival
a guy put his arms round her and offered to take her back to his
to take things slowly , she didnt go, but decades later this decides to come up and turn her on , the shape of her light is like a mini me
floating out of her body
always circling chasing a dream is like chasing a moon beam
its worth it even if you never get there , the foxes sounds like little aliens
when they are chirping clicking and clacking in the middle of the night, losers luck ,
dazzling refracted light as the guitar warps like a Dali
getting high on music
freak show ? maybe thats a compliment , grunting like a pig

horrific
a bit drunk from the sun

jumpy

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gaslight city page 27 hackers

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hackers like to feel they have your permission to rob you ! which is absurd considering they are breaking in . But they do like to stage flash mobs in public to say sorry , theyll work their way into your conversations with other people . To trick you into agreeing to something when you have no idea what you are agreeing to , theyll seek to appease their guilt with a discussion on an online forum , using copious false analogies

sometimes turning nasty if they dont get what they want. and Ellie has noticed alot of mysoginistic comments coming from women ! focusing on the smell of womens vaginas and their sanitary products or the shape of their bodies

n theres celebrities on those forums including dictators calling themselves ' petal head ' and the like , some of them throw their weight around and avoid going to therapy

and they want permission to do things like abduct Ellies boyfriend , threaten him with torture and force him to mate with his ex partner

Ellie has some things in common with trans women. she refuses to starve herself, shes quite strong , has a sense of equality and likes a bit of rough and tumble in the bedroom

why did the cleaning lady Jill steal a kitchen knife and a pair of scissors ? maybe becaue Ellie joked that there are dead bodies in the shed . One time Jill thought shed been locked in and was really scared

theres a drunk in that town called Alan. also schizophrenic . hes 6 foot 3, his parents are posh and anti medication . Scary when he goes off . hes left to roam the streets harrassing women

Sunday, 9 March 2025

gaslight city page 26 sexual awakening

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her aura fans out like a firework firing shots of white energy
as shes turned inside out , the strength in her muscles suddenly apparent
feeling no longer weak

burning up like a sunny day she used the butterfly clothes
yes the same thing has happened again theyve done each other
shes also on anti psychotics and a bang on the head
repercussions thoughout the body warm bright light which dazzles her
and creases her up

n shes been bombed again

if Picasso were alive today he would probably paint a drug addict
with striking hands and feet
with trembling hands and trembling heart she offers up her soul to Mick
the energy of a light worker a body of light that blurs and hazes
Vwoorp Vwoorp with loads of feedback
that was kinda rough
not sure if shes going to need another one

things seem to be moving as though there is wind when there isnt
like the wallpaper is peeling little tiny antar movements micro jerks, little bucks stuck in a groove , this record never tires
n she can smell the fear coming from the neighbours

taking out all her anger rubble falling away a blissful devastation
fluffy plumes of pink light like fairy lights in the window

the tension builds to a crescendo like a bucking horse finding energy she didnt have

she is caught on the end of a hook thrashing about and gasping for air
her limbs splayed like an octopus she melted like a Salvador Dali

not very ceremonious

earthquake techtonic plate her sense of reality is shaken

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gaslight city page 25 social engineering

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and people are jeering at Ellie for befriending Agatha
ha ha you two are coalescing ! the pair of you are lesbians
welcome to modern slavery Ellie !
you owe us in return for your disability assistance

but what about yous helping yourself to footage of my bedroom ,
thats worth absolutely nothing is it ?
someones intimate moments on their own ?

they try to threaten Elllie with prison and mental hospital , or changes of medication . youve got three days to phone Agatha says Fleur

n she was going to give that freely as a gift ! same thing happens in the family , people jump on the gift and try to control it
why on earth is that ?

the gift is ruined

not to mention the flash mobs when you go into town and shes not even famous !
and meanwhile a hacker is trying to get footage of her while messing with her online activity

Saturday, 8 March 2025

gaslight city page 24 sexual awakening

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that was white hot ! and helped her get over being assualted to put something else there he knows what to do with it even in a frenzy
n its all rock and roll we work up a rhythm , she feels really wierd afterwards
dizzy and disoriented with a fizzy head

her aura is a bubble of orange and pink blowing bubbles these dizzy heights

sometimes the magic rubs off on you yes two people expoding at the same time you almost repel each other with centripetal force

n yes it is traumatic ,like a positive trauma youd be in shock

the light is blinding and the trippy colours , shes back in the sixties
and all is peace and love n this is how the stars were made

yep its a normal natural thing to do yep just like a drug , guess she was ready to be more exclusive . and Mick wasnt

the owlies oaky nutty bones make the tune like a wooden flute

the weather is like the i Ching , its subtle in its clues , like rain is not necessarily a bad sign shapes shifting and morphing with the winds of change , to drift and dream through fields of elecampane

 had a zoom call with my gay man friend  
and while we were talking a ring on his finger broke !  

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