she waddles off
with the shrapnel coming out of her beak
n this other boy
offers her some milk
n she vey fusty ...
n he have nice clay cave
with carpets on the
wall n stuff
***************
1040
n this was all happening
at her new husbands birthday ...
he walked into the bedroom
n says they've taken
Scarey ... is you complain
about it they will take me
*********************
she loves again
n is like something
buried in her garden
no really dead ...
it weigh heavy on her
like a ripe fruit
n surely he walk in any minute ....
*************
her grief ie vey profound
she feels she will neer
get over her
sweetheart n all
they share in
chilehood ... n she does love again ...
101013
nb Nitkun train honk x 2
********************
n her heart is not really free
she has guild and fear
around the breakup that she runs from
is not really present
she stands a bigamist ...
091013
*****************
n did she avoid her punishmsne
she only just
feel the scars now
like a stake driven into her
heart leaving shards of wood
n barb wire
n she waddled away
with it hanging from her beak
091013
he did what he thought was best
for humanity
misjudged the dosage
n she die
6.010.13.
The Legend of Scarey
he looked dead
chuffed with the bear house
n stood swining his arms behind him
n was off to play with his band
she understands what he did
n someone else has a better way
he made himself into an apparition
and now the Ghost of Scarey haunts the downs
14.08.13.
18.07.13.
9.07.13
******************************
1.07.13.
******************
Scarey said he would suck my tits
winded like a cricket ball
air pressure in space tugging at the rays
n this glittering brooch ...
something special made by hand
crafted from feelings for
a lover lost in space
white fireworks flicker
across the void
a space ship spraying light
with eight legs and muffled voices coming from inside ...
a pulsating ball ofwhite heat
dense particle of concentrated tension
a meteor hurtling towards itself ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved 27.06.13
27.06.13.
8pm 3.05.13.
n you'd think
you wanted war music ...
a bit weird
I'm playing tis
really trippy love music
thinking about a mass murder
shouting at people
an someone sawing
down trees
n the children trying to hide
the kind of love
you'd feel looking at
the scorched battlefield
you know in that dopamine
psychosis ... hearing the dead bodies
smokin
singing of the love
that motivated it
still shooting
and it ain't over
n you'd think
you wanted war music ...
a bit weird
I'm playing tis
really trippy love music
thinking about a mass murder
shouting at people
an someone sawing
down trees
n the children trying to hide
the kind of love
you'd feel looking at
the scorched battlefield
you know in that dopamine
psychosis ... hearing the dead bodies
smokin
singing of the love
that motivated it
still shooting
and it ain't over
******************
swore i put that in there
******************
13.01
neighbour just coughed I'm to be given throat bugs today ...
23.06.13.
**************
where do we go from here ...
great working wiv you
22.11
more pics thankyou Scarey
20.14 21.06.13.
Scarey gave me a piture thankyou
n it was all framed n stuff
20.06.13. 21.32
******************************
isn't the turtle an insult ? not if you get those
records with it ... and its kind of
unromantic ...
oh and this ...
20.49
Scarey gave me some presents
thankyou Scarey ...
and his Mum the watch was from her sorry ...
13.06.13.
**********************
13.06.13. 3.15am
n id like to go
to a mountain shack
with Scarey an nobody around
what would we take a copy of
the Upanishads some
nuts and some
condoms ...
12.06.13. 11.46am
an i tried my
own homegrown today
first time ... its quite potent stuff
and you grasp what he was saying
like years later and its like
oh yeah how could i
miss ...
an i was like deliriously rocking him
an dribbilng gibberish
a helpless feeling
like rocked into a dream and flown away
globules of emotion
and stuff n he says quick use your finger
n you're sitting somewhere like glued
to the spot you know transfixed
n cellars
exploding and stuff
and all this gunk coming out
and shit you got work the next day
11.30am
i woke up
with one of those aftermath things
seized up ... i am so fried
im gonna die ...
11pm 5.06.13.
***********
18.30 5.06.13.
i have thought about the issues as an intelligent
adult and give my informed
consent to this project thankyou .. .
************************************
you know theres swaggering .. . and
theres staggering ... like legs
akimbo trying to cross the
road with a bottle
a bit like a swagger
swiggering
across the road
an just totally not
giving a fuck
******************
and your body being shaped by
the experience the sharp
edges chipped away
(half asleep an dreaming)
like you've died and have come
back to haunt the place
from a different
plane just not really all there
like as if you're behind the bushes
watching people or something
******************
i think its coming back to me now
there was like an explosion of
emotion in my chest
with the light and quite traumatising
and then thinking yours fine
when you are not
like you do
like as if there
was a nuclear holocaust
an you're sort of singing along
the road with your back all burned
as if everything was fine ...
pretty much out of it all day a
lovely helpless sensation
an there was that feeling of two
wolves clawing all over
each other
i did get flames
of light an a slight boner
3.06.13. © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
***********************
they promised her afterwards a blanket
food and a television
I don't recommend that
it was very unpleasant indeed
a sacred jellyfish as
yet untouched
the subject of whispers
a terror suspect was detained without
trial or warning
i experienced yours
there were wild cats screeching
it was a tough climb
14.18 30.05.13.
270513
23.05.13.
***********************************
20.52 22.05.13.
*******************************
my heart is kind of doubled up with cramp
lanced
blowtorched skin
n all these robot actresses
keep on trying to poke you ...
being hurled over a mountain of trash
the wind whining round it in
great searing spirals
stabbing a nasty
giant boil all blistering sore and lacerated
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved 11-16 May 2013
16.05.13.
musskiss
n then he came into my room and
said he was going to teach
me something
an i didn't know what
he was doing ...
Im going to stop you though half
way between lurching and
biting ... like do you
think we might
be rushing
things ...
music
an i dot remember doing anything particularly
strenuous did i ...
n my lips are swollen and peeling again like
they are going numb from
radiation
mucis
and the same food tastes completely
different
yeah and i just feel
like bound and gagged like
im not allowed to express how i feel ... ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
you know an if we was just allow to be on our own
an i don't want them to have my birdsong see
n i was singing to Scarey like a bir
an i can't remember is now
an i warbled like an alien chile
n i was all gooey
you know and i feel like Scarey is really
there for me like i could turn to him
with any problem
including this one ...
cus i really want what we had
11.01am
an the thing about
Scarey is how i feel afterwards
is more poetic and my pictures actually look more alien see
13.05.13.
oh they were nigh birds ...
an i dreamed i was recording these birds
from another planet
my heart still
fitting an i thought about how he felt
and then i was like
adrift with malaria ... delirious
and the boat cocking and stuff ... and
you actually smelled vomit as you wee thrown
under again by another wave ... and they are still going off
couple of hours later theers another explosion in the
basement and one on the first floor ... and
you're like crawling to get out ... n
this energy shoots up like a
hydraulic jet ...
phaser pulse rifle
that ripped me open like my
chest was torn and a
bluish light with white sparks
like my guts had been lazered out
tazered
an now i feel very sick .. .
a fire in the cellar
the hot wind exploded in the lung
causing vertigo and loss of balance turning
circles in the air i jumped round
trying to make a get away
like boiling water poured into
the fuse box
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
****************************
20.16 14.05.13.
you know an if we was just allow to be on our own
an i don't want them to have my birdsong see
n i was singing to Scarey like a bir
an i can't remember is now
an i warbled like an alien chile
n i was all gooey
you know and i feel like Scarey is really
there for me like i could turn to him
with any problem
including this one ...
cus i really want what we had
11.01am 7.05.13.
an the thing about
Scarey is how i feel afterwards
is more poetic and my pictures actually look more alien see
***************
isn't that going to hurt what if it
kills me Scarey
that place with the vultures an the
deserted beach and stuff isn't
it and all seaweed there
and the menacing sky
***************
yeah some of it could look dull if you
are emotionally desensitised ...
i actually have amnesia about that one ...
you know it took me somewhere
... hey it took me somewhere
that I'm afraid to look at its jus so
beautiful it breaks my heart
to look at it ...
like the piranha it hurts ...
an its gonna kill me
so thanks for the complaint
without which i might not have gone ...
an there are other people i like
nearly as much
and could be happy with
you know an there is a place that
is beyond music or pictures
or anything
00.52 7.05.13.
why Scarey
because he's like a parent
and a child rolled into one ... tha
is very advanced in emotions an can
show me things ... is good at making links
an mediating and stuff its like emotionally Im
getting alot more from him than i would get elsewhere
an cus i love him more than anyone else
********************
his toddler was driving him nuts
swearing and dark thoughts
sleep deprived
anxious and gullible
00.32am 1.04.13. © Lizarikk
white noise from the appliances
like the loud heartbeat inside the womb
rocking the sea
facilitated by the darkness
nobody comes to hear my cries
an i lie there with my pain all alone screaming
nobody takes away my pain
it shatters the crystal tourmaline
of night in the flickering
candle light licking up the bed
clutching my heart i reach for a blanket
that wraps me like the crib
that holds me in its song as i howl
for a mother long since dead
********************************
Sunday, 28 April 2013
the glug of hunger
the raw stubble of a soul
that ploughs in deep roughing up the thigh
a world that is flawed and absurd
creation fell into a corrupt state
the chain of suffering and imperfection
the shock of an unusual and blasphemous explanation
an infant bonding with a stem
turning into leaves
the resin of dark wood
the howl of a strangled puppy
emanating from a branch like a pool of molten glass
misc draft 28.04.13. 18.30
25.04.13. 8.30pm misc draft
my head feels
like a trampoline
with the notes bouncing
on it slowly like a skin ... and
suddenly weightless floating in slow
motion ... like you do like that piece of
shrapnel moving slowly past the sun ... and
then i seem to turn into an amplifier like a echo chamber
just a boom box for the sex hop wah wah that is not music
the pelt is my inside out organs expose glistening to
receive the sounds gurgling glugging sounds
from an alien place ... my heart curdled
like it scrunched up an all my innards
crunched ... your dirty filthy ...
an yeah the
sky is celebrating
the crown jewels are in
a cabinet in emergency break glass an
the river of love flows on through the light storm
chords that bubble and swell
viscous loops
anthemic wordless conch
that swells my heart bending the air
the music speaks
like the words of cats
looking into its eyes
it purrs and rolls on its back
it howls for me and runs away
when i chase it
bending my thoughts
talkin just to me
makin love to ma mind
running its fingers through my
hair round my achin head ...
planting little kisses
on the crown
tracing my skull
strangled loops reedy croon
pulling at the tides
how it pours slinky
into a glass
smooth rich heavy honey
oozing over the top
24.04.13. © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
misc draft
and the sky is bright white
squeezing the heart muscles
like an accordion
pushing the buttons
11am misc draft
smokey smooch
vampire organs pulling
the heart strings
i glug it down
great gulps of music
down the gullet
that sings my heat
24.04.13.
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
love smashing into itself
that was one
of those car crash things
you know where you are thrown out
of your seat the floor kicks you into the windscreen
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
00.59 11.04.13.
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
love smashing into itself
that was one
of those car crash things
you know where you are thrown out
of your seat the floor kicks you into the windscreen
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
00.59 11.04.13.
bit of a crab thing too like your sitting on
something in the water trying to
dig it out of the sand
and then blasted out of the water
and it keeps biting you
or maybe a lobster
pinching thing
so theres is
cobra , fire breath .. .
and now crab, impact, crash and crunch
are different types of orgasm and that light trance
maybe a jelly orgasm , fever, coma ,
******************
well anyway lets call that a hallucinogenic orgasm
I'm surprised there are not more names
to look up ...
and then theres the balloon type
where you are like Jewel said a balloon that doesnt go down !
you know sometimes you just sort of hang there
like as if you are just turned into spirit
and gas just floating with your arms like of wobbling in the air
and i feel the helium and hydrogen coming back in now
boing
you know and to feel you putting your
feelings in me like that
is the best way to get them
the grip of love that locks on to love
and makes a binge of love
a greedy pawing love selfish hunger
that licks the spoon and sucks on
love and rolls it round the tongue squeezing
its own love ... all over the lovely stick of love ...
yum spilling over
and then all this love builds up
in the bottle neck
violent redox
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
22.04.13. 00.48am
*******************
he didn't talk gaelic to you
no he did me though
looking right down inside you ...
a sharp intake of breath
contraction rings
similar streaks in the eyes of a man he
was treating for a broken leg
and the eyes of an owl
there were
some flashing lights there and a
cutting feeling ... and then my mum phoned ...
the music is dribbling down the walls
like monster play slime
i don't even really want to think about that
or to think about thinking about it
then again if i was to not
think about it ...
can you call
off your dog please
Im trying to get the maggots off my crutch
and I can smell the fear in your nose ...
17-20 April 2013 © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
Scareys music meltdown
separation, calculation, trepidation, jubilation
a film without music can't ever be scary
And maybe I'll play a song that gets you, that you get, that is yours
he started throwing himself around the room in a furious, jumpy dance
what I do to sabotage
he played it again and again and again
that aarrrrrggggh noise makes me feel brilliant I'm a firestarter
unguhhhhh ungggggg
16-17 April 2013
Scarys music simmer
16-17 April 2013
whacked up the volume... But I had to stop listening
gulping sobs on the 159 are OK
but not if you're out of tissues
and have to use an empty Tangfastics packet
to mop your snot
an instant joy kick for me
a rush of adrenaline and fight-f**k energy
makes me wanna drive my car into a brick wall
you became a part of me a part of me
gorgeous
i couldn't quite accept it
i took the song and hugged it close
mixed up with that music it moulded itself around me
i understood the language and i sang back to it
that unravelled my feeling unravelled
my feeling ...
grimey tracks
crackling like that burning oil
on the wrapper the smoke hitting me in
the stomach ... if you don't wanna party don't bother ...
00.39am 17.04.13.
and since when are pop
stars not shagging their teenage fans and groupies ...
bit of a hornet that one ...
instead of going to Dr Death right i want to be anaesthetised
and dropped in a piraña infested sea
and i catch myself doing little mannerisms
and affectations like you see on telly ...
like when you do a sex face from a film .. .
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, 16 April 2013
wanting people to like you .... i think i want
to see how much i can offend them
atnd get away with it dammit
why do i keep writing ant
in fact theres those fiends i
need to practice on ...
and i was addicted to violence really
adrenaline and drama and stuff
not acting i thought the stage would be
something not real for me
drama was acting out
all the crap inside you know
trying to find out who you were ...
i never can understand acting how can
people act ... without losing themselves ...
oh the tortured artist though yes
apart from just recently its not all about pain but
yeah you do struggle with that villain that gets the lines ...
is what its about really isn't it ...
almost as if i grew up there
not where i grew up
cus being a very very grown up child
just totally regressed to about three
you know when you
scream and it sound like
like not a human like a beast or something
and friends would scale the walls
to find me
ah mole i have seen that word twice today
and i got stage fright ...
19.49 16.04.13.
*****************
the air and light forcing its way upwards
something kicking the lungs like a jet of air pressure
like being winded by a gale force
from the stomach so that you're gasping for breath
i couldn't even remember that at the time
pains in the
stomach and buckets of sweat
and a cry of pain like a grieved child who
has lost herself in the emotion
arching back into a bow
that bends and bends until it snaps
afternoon 12.04.13.
something kicking the lungs like a jet of air pressure
like being winded by a gale force
from the stomach so that you're gasping for breath
i couldn't even remember that at the time
pains in the
stomach and buckets of sweat
and a cry of pain like a grieved child who
has lost herself in the emotion
arching back into a bow
that bends and bends until it snaps
afternoon 12.04.13.
4.25am 11.04.13.
9.04.13. 21.30
*********************
21.02.13.
********************
and you care for me you say
where you study my every twitch
and curve of my lip ...
with gawping fascination
and would you survive without me ...
and are you talking to me
because you don't sound
like you had all that great a time
of it ...
and just wanting to win
i find myself used to spike
your work ... and i am not your pretzel ...
*************
and its my own
problem my own issue
if I've lost myself is that all
his fault if i need to recreate
a self that never was
and can he ever win
i am challenged
to be real to throw off
the baggage of blame
of stereotype
and really see the person
that i call on to save
me from himself
and when you've lost him
in the mist and his
calls echo to the blind
that he teases in their brilliance
and how are you married
is he the whip that
runs your motor that
orders the night out
of its pit ...
that makes you sing
scream as loud as a skyscraper
multi story block will allow ...
let us prey ...
and can he tell
your body what to do
when you stand there with
the ugly parts of you hanging out
and how is he our soul mate ...
he left you there
arguing with yourself and
the ghosts of childhood
the pieces of broken
mirror lodged in your heart ... darling ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
misc draft 9.30am
Friday, 5 April 2013
4.50am
and what are
you to me someone
who seems to know the
right words to unlock the cellars
theres these dungeons down there that
i don't know about and boy are they locked ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
you are a symbol
of cuteness
like the worlds biggest pet
nurturing his goslings
you hold the planets
in your hands weighing them
like juggling balls
mediating their apartheid ...
you trick and tease and
torment me
just enough to make me run
you frighten me
out of my reverie
i look terrified
like the pet you kicked
down the stairs
and went to rescue
and coo over and croon
and you hold me in your arms
a most unearthly bliss
shaking and sweating
i try to run again ...
only to find
another maze of
hedges I've never been so scared
another three days
fighting you and i will be dead
and you will make boxes of straw
for my babies and forget
how much i adored you
were a symbol of something ...
a big buzzing evil saint
that screams my nerves
and rubs me up the wrong way
till the world spins upside
down and my guts are knotted
inside out wrapped around
your arm where you
toy with my soul like a canvas ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
misc draft 9.30am
**************************
5.04.13.
2.57am 4.04.13.
5pm 3.04.13.
Scarey is looking after Friz seal Grace
we're not sure if Jewel wants him back or not ....
**************
Scarey also swalloed some tadpoles and is making a monkey i think he said
**************
an is worth the risk
cus who knows what you're gonna do ...
*************
no I don't want my
spirit to die
what wouldn't i give
to see you ...
just toast and beans
in a cafe
and your hand ... to hear your voice ...
does it have dark hairs on it
just to pass out in your eyes
and then they can call the pigs
and take me away ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
22.37 20.03.13
the moon a glutinous milky haze
theres that pain in the shoulder again
that star just shot me
*******************
20.03.13. 14.05
I was in a coma after that one
and I didn't even realise ...
like buried under the rubble
19.06 19.03.13.
why is that different
like your whole
body is being ripped apart
like electrocuted ... I don't know
what the ingredient is ... and so tender
that you wince and smart and whistle and the cars
are going right through me ... and all in your tutu and stuff ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
00.21
like all the nerves
are lit up like fibre optics
how the sound of your name
would thrill me echoing
off the shadow
dangerous ...
that was it ...
frightening like the
first one ... ripping its way up the spine ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
21.48
sort of like
a meditation and
really making alot of love in there ...
an you be amaze what you
can find in that box
of surprise ...
so I closes
my I's and gets
the cream ... you know
cus while you suckle it you
get to really explore the feelings an
all this peace wraps you up like a hazy womb ...
© Lizarikk
23.03.13.
sacrificed a lamb ...
and i nightmare they say yours
gonna leave me and i know
what i don't know
and i make the most horrendous
gaffes that have me crippled
with guilt for days ...
I like how
we don't know
what we're doing ...
don't know what we're doing ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
**********************
3.15am 23.03.13.
but then the occult does have a mind
of its own random will nobody
can contain
making aberrations like a sea storm
a mindless thud agains your
boat ...
something that tore me open
and kicked my nuts
oh yeah like the shaking of a fever some
times a magical trance where
actually a vision was born
funny he was conceived in that
war in the sickness of the enemy camp ...
and you a quivering mirage in the delirium
************************
22.37 20.03.13
the laugh has a trippy echo
that pollenates my
head with hazy stings
a joy that kills
23.38
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
theres no need to rub
my nose in it like a glue stick ...
I'm actually literally
sawing through a steel cable ...
the chords
are elastic and
stretchy like pulling dough
I burned my hands on some raw chilli
and am a bit comatose
however it is still possible i could bite you ...
hey Joe
they got progressively
more dense until obviously
they no longer needed a body ...
**********
and on the 8th
day he made the Devil ...
nb someone seems to have removed this section
which i will now need to edit again ...
15.39 23.03.13.
****************************************
15.03.13.
and the neighbour smashed a door
at a crucial point ...
see i had
aspirin today
that slightly took
the edge off ... but i
still wanted to wriggle free
of it and felt like another one ...
its like this energy forcing its way
up like a underground spring you know
the force of the jet fighting back at the jack
thirsty bird sucker rod
and i bit
back at the thing
that was prodding me so rudely
poking around inside
my ribs need to dust my feathers down
I really didnt do that did i
side sliping
caterpillar tracks
my wheels skidding against the wet curb
trying to veer away from the oncoming pile up
making a petrol bomb
the steering
wheel screeches as I drive
straight through the reinforced glass
cranky … often causes gritting of teeth, assholeyness, destruction,
inability to pay bills, romantic relationships
with ones aids infected cousin, and finally complete retardation
***************************
16.03.13. 21.38
*****************************
13.50 12.03.13.
my limbs are all puffy and swollen now
you know and they're all jumping
up and down like they've
scored ...
the trust ...
the pain
came back
but not the sharp
light it was like a knife
in your cutty splitting your
spine ... and how happy he looked ...
******************
hitting back
i kept on pummelling
and pounding drubbing
a sucker punch roundhouse
delivered with a wide swing battering
the whip ... kicking back in self defense ...
the fight went on for hours a relentless cold war ...
ending with an uprising of civil disobedience
storming the armed guard ... enough
let me die ... he kicked a pastry
cook in the groin his head
was sawn off and fixed
on a pike ...
00.15 10.03.13. © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
blushed hair ...
a killer sore throat
could be a bit
of a problem
if that thing jumps on me
drunks on me
if that drunk drinks in me
if that problem drugs out of nowhere
then it could be a bit of a driblem
if that droblem dribbles on me
*************
5.30pm 2.03.13.
2.59am 1.03.13.
*************************
a crane jerks the noose upward
powered by a treadwheel
while you cling to the ladder
pitched forward
and winded
gobbling fizzy sherbert
dial m for emotion
too much hairspray ...
he would gently shake your hips
as part of foreplay
like playing with a child
excitement creeping
up your feet like a horror
your kidneys somewhat removed
those smokey eyes a fine
collab for me
it was all beaten black and blue
misc draft © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
15-20 Feb 2013
like i said
you're not in Miami mate ...
you let Chuck write your thoughts
for you again
i watched him do it hoping you'd see ...
sort it out please ...
******
*************
kk over n out please don't leave me ...
**********
he seems to know where I am like Trix did ...
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oh look his cock is coming
out of my stomach ...
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so theres a gerbil in my chest
and a crab further down
2.23am 31.03.13.
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