24.04.13.
18.34
Jewels said that she's happy for me to be the godmother
and that she will bring Grace over when she feels it is good for him ....
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12.13 22.04.13.
Grace did cry ... i didtn i think he will be ok
that was last night in the small hours
he doesnt normally notice me that much which is what
adoptions can do sometimes ... i have been careful with it
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20.53 21.04.13.
and then i realised i do have to let them adopt Grace ... partly because he should have been Jewels in the first place .. . but kiss goodbye for now
and hopefully i can be the godmother ... they will
consider whether he needs to see me
and then we still have Delilah to sort out which
Scarey hasn't mentioned at all yet ...
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17.04.13. am
yesterday Jewels wrote an article about having a say about the adoption
and i have lost it ... actually it wasn't addressed to me ...
can you put it up again somewhere ... yes i do care about him ...
let me recap ... i felt there was something non consensual
about Grace conception and then i didn't bond properly and decided
to let Jewel foster him ... that actually shows that i care
rather than i don't ... course she is going to use my loss or the article
as evidence of my incompetence ....
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and now i can smell those motorbike noises again
15.04.13.
amyway so Jewel turns up really late last night ... and really angry that she though i was keeping her from Grace ... which i wasn't .... but i was impressed with her fervour actually and he's back there now ... she actually said something !
she actually accused me of being her maid ... and the signs told me that i ought to get angry with her because she was very abusive and threatening actually ... i was just impressed by how realistic that was and what an insight into dealing with someone like her ...
babbling very fast at me in a foreign accent on the doorstep defending her foster child .... and apparently i don't give her time to think things through which is interesting ... howevva ...
i shodulnt really let her speak to me like that so it will probably delay me
signing the adoption papas ...
and he was bundles off back there with his sibling ... until his next visit ...
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14.04.13. 15.38
he doesnt say much does he is very graceful ... and weak like
a pedigree ... and very sociable ...
13.04.13.
Grace came over for a visit today which was nice ... i don't know when they are picking him up ....
9.04.13.
7pm
Scarey thinks i should let Jewel adopt Grace
actually she has been fostering him because i couldn't cope
so i am signing a paper to say that she is his foster mum but I'm careful
not to push straight through to the adoption because
i don't want to trigger a feeling of regret
and why would i give my child away because sometimes its the right thing to do ....
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apparently Grace has a half sibling too
which is probably one reason that he likes it there ...
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6.04.13.
23.50
Scarey was babysitting for Grace tonight and Jewel didn't show up ....
i wonder what has happened Scarey ....
thanks for looking after him for me ....
23.01
Grace is back home with me now I'm still willing to negotiate with Jewel ....
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