word jam : the beat of the sun

theres a trade war going on  

belittling is recognisable as a crime these days I think 
in the context of a marriage 
is called ' partner control ' 

I cut my own hair ! 
they always cut it too short 
which makes me look like a school girl ! 

in a sense the lockdown may never end 
because it needs to be eased gradually 
and also because it has had so many knock on effects 

like people co-operating

the list goes on …

they tell me he doesnt care

communication without touch 
let nature take its course , catiquette 

I've actually befriended both of them 

I'm starting to enjoy the lockdown 
doing some art work 

will be difficult to get back to normal ! 

being able to stop and notice things and linger over them
like a flower you never noticed
or a picture you have on the wall
you see something in it you had not seen before

we havent built up to the level of intimacy 
she is assuming 

trying to force intimacy on her terms 
she's even written my script ! 

the way we feel about animals 
the way we relate to them 

can't never read my sadded eyes ? 
the animal a constant forgiving presence 

i can feel him in my bones 
he is my forbidden love 

i think love is like warmth 
if you imaging a centre of the sun
glowing with orange pink and purple  

my paintbrushes my crafting my house 
all up in the air

because of love, I'm terrified 

swelling like a burst water balloon
bang ! 

making music 

releasing all the colours 
what music would go with that 

like with LSD the one-ness of all creation
focusing on a bee