030319

n i dont understand 
how to commercialise myself 

I'm here to generate love 
is my purpose on earth 
i know no other goal 

020319 

a sense of entitlement ? 

my family members
are all barking 
n i might as well be Rahaf 

I'm the only member of my family 
who visits the addict 

yeah a sense of entitlement 
to a lethal injection thats what 

n i didnt really want to stay here 

i don't really have schizophrenia 
i just have an addict brother 
and an insane family 

minimal agency 
n i feel like I'm going to explode 

010319 

n here come the fat comments 
im 54 for God's sake ! 
in Spain they say 
that a woman has to choose 
between her face and her figure 

so much for gender neutral 

280219 / 010319 

and a cold war with the neighbours 

n the child 
has a blank expression
no room for her feelings 

the hand wringing remorse
of the little baby girl
having to choose 
between Mummy and Daddy 

not good enough 
n who's to blame 
i feel like my head is going to explode 

word jamb

270219 

the people who taught me 
were outta their skulls 
off their trolleys 
n outta their skulls 

so what else have i done wrong ? 
im a heavyweight brain
I've failed repeatedly 
money grabbing bitch
layabout , scrounger 

when do you ever 
do anything for anybody else ? 

why can't you go to work ?  

260219 

does more likes 
equal more love ? 
an inch off my waist ? 

n everybody has their issues 
which i become aware of 
even the normal peeps 

feeling unacceptable 
aren't i enough for him ? 

all this anger and fear 
ends up in my stomach 

n at the bottom of the heap 
i have no support 
holding peoples' heavy issues 

in this world people threaten you  
even your loved ones 
your nearest and dearest 
such is the nature of this world 

250219

i ask a question in F
look puzzled in C
and resolve it in G 

my heart is broken in F 
i see hope in C
and find him back in G