standing up to boyz edit page 1

 Page 1 

the hospital jury said that Charlotte ' lacks capacity ' and does not have ' insight ' into her own mental health . But they agreed that hacking does happen . She was not allowed out as she was not dressed decently in the hospital gown which is open at the back . Which she was forced to wear . Her own clothes having been torn off her .She felt like she was in prison . And screamed the place down 

from 2013 , ' Standing up to Boyz ' 

Im going to kick the ball 
n I'm going to kick it hard 

what does that mean ? well something like im getting ready for my next organism and recieving ' bids ' from different men who pitch their words and poems and articles for me , see which man makes me come . Sometimes the person who got me started is not the person i finish with 

so when does having a voice 
become a bit of a tease ? 

sometimes it was me 
that put the pressure on 

cus i wanna nail this guy 
n plant a flag 

there were a couple of guys 
who kept the banter up 
n that really helped 

so what if i want to take a step back 
when we're almost there 
n my legs have turned to jelly 

n then he called me the virgin mary 
because i wouldn't take it offf 
i just froze n i went all stiff 
n i let him have his way 
n now i can't say no to this day 
i know you think I'm a tease but please 
take your hand off my knee 

n its worse
after I've had a couple of drinks 

n this is how much lorazepam 
n antipsychotics it takes 
to make me forget 

n yeah its my fault 
i said i wanted a bad boy 

n whats all that about ? 
unavailable drunk n married men 
seems to be a pattern 


a blinding rage 

nobody ever spoke about marriage 
when i was growing up 
it was all about the career and having fun , partying , 
n no effin housework 
was written on the wall 

so can you use protection we say 
yes 
and then he doesnt 
n it doesnt seem cool to protest 
n after a couple of bites 
he does seem a bit iffy 

standing up to boyz
can be difficult 
especially when you wanna do it 
n you wanna do it 
but you're not really sure 

n we're already hypnotised 
open your mouth 
before you open your legs 
to have a voice 

saying what we want to happen 
in the bedroom 

expressing a sexual thought 
is seen as a pitch 

everything stops 
with a kind of reverence 

n I'm under the glass floor 
unable to buy or sell 

im not responsible 
for his behaviour 

even if A WOMAN IS TALKING ABOUT SEX 



n a self defense course could realy enhance your sex life 

he pushes me in the chest , says hes just being friendly 
 **********
Charlotte doesnt realise that people can see her bottom at the back because the hospital gown is open . why are they made like that ?  Why are people sniggering . She somehow managed to go out anyway . People thought she was doing it for attention and she got a reputation for it 
 ironically there was one patient in there who had only a year to live . While others are trying to bring their time forward . The terminal one is incenced at this , they dont know how lucky they are . And points out to Charlotte that her rear is visible . What does he have to lose ? 
Crystal herself was flashed at when she was at school on her way home. And on the train . She got up and moved to sit between two ladies . When Charlotte went to the same girls school there was porn strewn on the ground on their way home . Some of the girls could make quips at the sniggering boys hanging about 
Uncle Rory was very interested in watching Charlotte be changed. and raved about her beauty when she turned thirteen  
 
**********
Pearl  scowls at Charlotte across the coffee house table in a passive aggressive way  . she has planned some fat shaming for later . Her words hiss through her teeth as she tries to make converation . She kicks her bag at Charlotte under the table and says that she called her psychiatrist a fat pig . Charlotte wondered about Pearls intentions when she said that all men are rapists . Yet still the penny did not drop 
Trevor joined them and decided to disabuse Charlotte of her naivety . Extinction of men on the horizon . And it was not until some years later that Anna realised what Pearl wanted  . They were sitting in a cosy village pub trying to form their own support group . Unfortunatly Charlotte had developed a crush on Trevor . Who had dated another lady in their circles and Pearl was against it 
To onlookers they looked a motley crew , not smart , not working people , not aristocracy , but not vagrants either , they were difficult to place. And appeared to be having intelligent conversation and laughing heartily . They were not really buying enough drinks  . Are they poets ? criminals ? 
Pearl thinks that Trevor will take advantage of Charlotte and resolves to keep them apart . So theres Trevor trying to protect her from Pearl and Pearl trying to protect her from Trevor !  
 
Pearl deliberately contributed to loss of services in order to foster ddependency on herself thus giving herself a monopoly
**********
Kal is a woman whisperer 
the peace and love of the sixties was a real thing that Charlotte was born into . In spite of all the divorces it was in the air like a constant summer , insects buzzing like they're on acid 
Trevor is getting the pervert next door to Charlotte to control her with banging noises whenever she is communicating with Kal  

****************

with the name of an early riser you can sleep till noon 
N i didn't stop
In spite of obstacles 
I reached another plane 
Where they couldn't find me 

17 minutes n we're stompin the streets 

her vulnerable was like a Greek myth
The gossip terrible
 
 

blog is adult content, Standing up to Boyz page 11 , a new beat

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK . throw , clockwork , fleur , bluebottle , Millicent , Shacks , duffers 
tasha , petra , chops , identity thief , DM , MJ , chuckster, bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking , Concussion Cliffs by Victoria Sparking

, bully boulevard by Lacey Ember . another author name of mine is Anna Crackle , and Sparkle Ember
, hunnie and her chronies are not welcome to them , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used in AI

this book is fictional. Standing up to Boyz is written by Chantilly Lace Cinders 

 

edited 050826  

 

 

 threats of death, spiders, break ins , sanctions, especially if shes used the g spot . With the c spot she is more in a bolshy mood 

 

Kal makes her feel special . He is not beholden to anybody else  

 

meanwhile the sanctions from others are like being refused service at the supermarket that sort of thing .  harassing my vulnerable friend is another one . And how did world news lose them the world cup  ? 

 

instead of gas lighting try helium lighting  

 

everyday occurrence , aided by a fuzzy head , and made love to easily 

ended with a prolonged pounding to the g force , she feels alive with dirty football  

 

8 minutes with a bisexual man , some verbal, howling and rubbing 

and finally grinding bucking and pounding  

 

20 minutes doing whats best for everyone , shes reached a good time 

pounding the streets , theres a new beat in town 

we can fix this , plenty of grinding  

next book , 050826

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK . throw , clockwork , fleur , bluebottle , Millicent , Shacks , duffers 
tasha , petra , chops , identity thief , DM , MJ , chuckster, bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking , Concussion Cliffs by Victoria Sparking

, bully boulevard by Lacey Ember . another author name of mine is Anna Crackle , and Sparkle Ember
, hunnie and her chronies are not welcome to them , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used in AI

this book is fictional. Standing up to Boyz is written by Chantilly Lace Cinders 

 

070826 

 

 090826 

 

every sunday at 5.30 pm Trevor gets my neighbour to slam a door during my recovery meetings  

Standing up to Boyz page 10 werewolves fighting , blog is adult content

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK . throw , clockwork , fleur , bluebottle , Millicent , Shacks , duffers 
tasha , petra , chops , identity thief , DM , MJ , chuckster, bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking , Concussion Cliffs by Victoria Sparking

, bully boulevard by Lacey Ember . another author name of mine is Anna Crackle , and Sparkle Ember
, hunnie and her chronies are not welcome to them , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used in AI

this book is fictional. Standing up to Boyz is written by Chantilly Lace Cinders

 

edited 290626  

 

 

 the horror . Running from a man holding a pane of glass. Her worst nightmare , her best dream , the angels catching her and even in those days maverick characters could see her on surveillance . In the 1980s . 

 

yet were unable to intervene , only something worse could shift it , the reprisals of a drug addict on mushrooms . Hit the schizophrenic on the wrong medication hoping to bring her to normality  

 

2 werewolves fighting , and maybe 3, a friend and a boyfriend she fought them both , her volatile chakras were a bitch and she lost her kundalini awakening maybe because of all the shouting and screaming 

 

her emotions exploding in a dirty toxic psychosis laughing at her frustration like a mad hyena . when she wasnt doing yoga and making quality artwork 

 

before being kicked in the head like the friends mother . Like a rag doll . The mavericks on surveillance noticed she was into sex in a very unselfconsious way , with interesting fantasies . Apparently fantasy is not a good idea but she doesnt understand that yet  

 

shes considering being a lesbian but finds women more controlling than men sometimes  

 

at Notting Hill there is a double entendre n shes a champion , its tickety boo , n shes exploded with a pounding on the g force , treading flowers under bare feet 

 

under a bridge she risked it all , still playing dangerously , ending with a pummellling in 21 minutes  

 

she did some face with a man , alot of preplay ending inside and then it rained 

 

banging  

Standing up to Boyz notes 290626

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK . throw , clockwork , fleur , bluebottle , Millicent , Shacks , duffers 
tasha , petra , chops , identity thief , DM , MJ , chuckster, bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking , Concussion Cliffs by Victoria Sparking

, bully boulevard by Lacey Ember . another author name of mine is Anna Crackle , and Sparkle Ember
, hunnie and her chronies are not welcome to them , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used in AI

this book is fictional

 

300626

I feel im having a nervous breakdown  

Someone said im going to die tonight 

Maybe I will be better by the weekend 

010726

Kal manages to make me feel special and is not beholden to anybody else

010726

There is no man on earth who can wait until a woman is ready 

Having used the c spot im now in a bolshy mood,  

020726

Dev im going to leave you if you keep up this pressure to have sex 

There is no woman on earth who could keep up with it 

050726

 

050726

The rhythm within

060726

Thanks Fleur but thats too performative x

080726

Apology to Fleur

090726

Apology to Dev 

110726

Someone needs to stop pulling strings with my doctors if she wants me to contact her in august

if she lets me have my space there might be a camping trip at some point either this year or next 

120726

And if she stops all attempts to sanction me like influencing my participation in volunteering and forums ...

we are not going camping if she gets me kicked out of the forum staff room 

130726 i cant afford that Dev x . i will speak to someone about it 

150726

No camping trip for someone if she keeps setting her dog on me

160726

How did news of the world lose us the world Cup ?

160726

I have ptsd from the heat waves sorry

 170726

Someone needs to stop all attacks on me if she wants  any sort of trip

180726

And stop describing me as your partner as well

200726 

instead of gas lighting try helium lighting  

 

240726 , Dev i really appreciate all that you do . And im wondering if its possible to warn me in the morning , afternoon , early evening rather than late ? X 

260726

Pearl is harassing my vulnerable  friend   

 

040826 

 

Standing up to Boyz page 9 surveillance

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK . throw , clockwork , fleur , bluebottle , Millicent , Shacks , duffers 
tasha , petra , chops , identity thief , DM , MJ , chuckster, bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking , Concussion Cliffs by Victoria Sparking

, bully boulevard by Lacey Ember . another author name of mine is Anna Crackle , and Sparkle Ember
, hunnie and her chronies are not welcome to them , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used in AI

this book is fictional

 

 edited 060626 , edited 290626 

 

 the bright sunshine shows this will be a brilliant day . Not a whisper that anything is wrong , you feel hope in the air as you swing down the street . Just to get a baguette from the local shop and chat to the girl  serving there 

 

trucks rumbling past on the road  . Is the AI version congruent with the context ? 

 

never mind the spam actress at last nights support group meeting sent by Tiger to talk about excrement or their boycotting your shopping . Or the surveillance where youre watched going into the bathroom at which point a neighbour slams a door . Threats to put a brick through your window . Or being told youre a party pooper for logging the plans to torture Kal 

 

Tiger needs some oestrogen , like alot of people  

 

" to whom it may concern : Im one of the vulnerable people who could be at risk from assisted dying if it becomes law . And actually i would like my choice ! Im 59 with schizophrenia and a future that could include dementia and an abusive care home  , writes Charlotte to the newspaper 

 

after my mothers suicide in 1980 ive soldiered on through my own mental illness , including hospitalizations and heavy meds . Plus an extremely challenging peer group . And ive had enough ! Its not possible to do away with myself because that ususally doesnt work and then you get abused in hospital . So i cant do that without assistance 

 

 i do agree there should be safeguards like either you are terminally ill or youre over 60 with a painful condition , so as not to encourage younger people who might have a chance at life 

 

assisted dying might improve my life , knowing i have the choice of ending it i might enjoy it more  " 

 

her partner Kal gives her lovely cards , writes exciting articles and does legal work for her . But she might be too slow for him , like the tortoise and the hare  

 

she hopes to pass through the sadness and out the other side . They called her juicy goosey  

 

some men at the sex addicts meeting flirted with her 

which was inappropriate 

but instead of complaining she felt turned on 

they were like a Mexican football team 

she did some face with a gay man 

then did 3 men , alot of pounding and preplay 

and a successful end 

 

so dim  . shes not from another planet with her psychedelic hedgehog 

 

she spent a whole summer trying to paint a gerbera and ended up pounding a punch bag  

 

lets pretend we're making a character he said , pounding the streets . You might like the c spot and come to prefer the g when youve researched it , a victory over the supremacy  

 

 

Standing up to Boyz notes 060626

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK . throw , clockwork , fleur , bluebottle , Millicent , Shacks , duffers 
tasha , petra , chops , identity thief , DM , MJ , chuckster, bobble are not welcome
My first book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember 

, gaslight city is by Victoria Sparking , Concussion Cliffs by Victoria Sparking

, bully boulevard by Lacey Ember . another author name of mine is Anna Crackle , and Sparkle Ember
, hunnie and her chronies are not welcome to them , she wants to feed my books into AI
I opt out of them being so used in AI

this book is fictional

 

080626

Trevor and tiger are pidgeoning the tv with fascism guns and stuff to keep me awake  

090626

 

 100626

 

Trevor has threatened to call the police if I have sex 

And to pull out the whiskers of my cat visitor  

Agatha is throwing a tantrum at me and I've only just seen her on Monday !

Doesn't bode well for our friendship helping either of us 

100626

OK I will contact Agatha in July about doing something for her birthday 

And bear in mind she can't have my mobile number 

and i will see if i can do Trevor 

 

110626

 

Agatha will be offered a hug 

 

 120626 in August she might be invited for dinner 

150626

Will send Agatha a birthday card later in June

 170626

I can't go to the pool at the moment due to two psychiatric patients hanging out there and having to deliver mental health care on the spot

180626 

will see if i can do Trevor  

 

 

 

190626

Next week I will be too hot to have sex 

 210626

I actually also thought about one of the women on the video

***

220626

 230626

Well another heterosexual one . But i do wonder sometimes if its easier to be a lesbian 

Then again ... ive yet to meet a woman who isn't more controlling than a man 

250626 Dev did his best to protect my locker 

260626

Baby mother said she's going to disrupt my grocery shopping again

 

I did some oral with a man
Alot of foreplay
And ended with him inside

And then it rained

banging