rude food diets , tightrope salad

a chilli stuffed with sun dried tomato paste 

is one thing that would feature 

in a salad adventure 

a baked apple filled with prawn cocktail 

040214  0023

n then of course theres a breakfast adventure 

which could be a buffet ... or a portion 

of baked beans with surprises in ... 

guess where your sliced 

sausage comes from 

n pieces of melting 

cheese 




n if you can guess a key word 

a trap door opens in the plate 


the restaurant provides a feedback sheet 

so you can comment on your 

experience and what 

flavours worked well together 



vey filling n is you always serve cake with 

fruit you'd be less likely to want 

a second piece 

two different types of cake 

orange banana seed mix 

a drizzle of squash 

and a spoonful of peanut butter

freshly foraged lambs lettuce  

n she has in fact fixed hersle 

a fruit adventure 



8pm 

the word opportunist 

springs to mien 





430pm 

ill have a fruit adventure please waiter 

you never know when you might 

hit on a chocolate land mine 

disguised as a plum 

or the plate might have 

a pothole or tow ... 





************************* 



ill have an adventure salad landscape please ... 



1614  030214

todays tightrope salad is quite 

an adventure in itself 

if not that easy to eat with the 

big herb leaves 

bit of a landscape in whats 

these seeds i have put in 

n who's this 



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i just read fruit bagpipe 

by mistake not sure that that is 

that could also be a balloon salad 

m further on that road 

should be possible to make 

a fruit tightrope 

a fruit salad with yoghurt 

and pieces of biscuit and cake 
1630

a trampoline salad ... pulses i guess ! 





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so what would go in a 

trampoline salad 


*************

reminds me of Tuttons 

in Covent GArden 

i always had their bacon and spinach 

thing about a tightrope salad 

is you can have as much 

as you like as its 

about 50% vegetalbe 

n after something like that 

you are less likely to get hungry 



010214 1435


bacon and pesto salad 

is a pesto pasta salad

from Waitrose 

to which i have added extra leaves 

bacon and seeds 

its possible for a salad to be 

both healthy and indulgent 





2004 310114 

could do with some croutons 

fashion design label

a couple of days ago 

i designed a label called The Baby Girls Wardrobe 

i can't find it 

n there is another one called 

Baby Girl loves Boyz 

which i thought of today 310114 am

its 847am now 

Everyday Magic

or burn the house down 

020214   1255

how to magically clean up the house ... 

decide who is your sickest relative

n invite them for lunch 



************

n could we have a hoover that is sensitive 

to its own chord that switches off 

if you run it over 



020214 1255 


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a chapter of How to Magically Clean the House 

rude food diets

enjoyable salads 

i had recently 

mixing prawn cocktail 

style layered salads 

( too rich ) 

with bags of mixed leaf 

( too plain ) 

resulting in a lovely crunchy 

mayonaissy thing 

n forgot to add the seeds ... 



n k so i also ate a 

family sized cake today 

a response to poverty you know ... 

art whisperer

people need support 

they need to feel there is somewhere 

they can talk about a traumatic 

experience mental health 

is not all about insanity ... 




i hadn't really thought 

how important puppets could be 

althouth i have spent my life

making models 


it might show the public 

that we are not just nutters 

like God are these 

made by nutters 

im not sure how i would get on 

making the puppets 

on my own 

it seemed very much 

a social event 

300114 pm 

i said i have dealt with 

some difficult emotions through the puppets 

i think because you can put the feelings 

outside yourself onto the puppets 

and it gives a sense of 

humour and cheerful colours 

to help you 

my lost puppet

Gloria was found lying in the gutter 

here enjoying a well earned rest 

The Lagoon Lapdancing Club 

Gloria is a disabled lapdancer 

with no mouth 

like the mermaid she can only sing tunes 

but she can't talk as she has laryngitis 

she asks the mermaid 

if she wants to join the lap dancing club 

its good money and you don't have to say anything 

Gloria is very adventurous 

for a disabled lapdancer 

n ventures up a pole 

n now there is a little trace of a mouth 

the mermaid has no legs 

and she cries because 

she can't wear the other shoe 



lacrima piangia Enbabla 

Larmes Lagrimas Poiggia raindrops 

fashion design

wearing a piece of furniture 

as in becoming a part 

of the furniture 

a papier mache table 

for instance 

2356

n it would follow logically from there 

to be seen wearing a 

piece of furniture 

artwork brainstorm

Scareys idea to draw with eyes closed / curse of the ring

n vey jealous of Scareys idea 

rude food diets

636 280114 

n if your still there you get a dessert 

of pate de foi 


1934

n yeah after your chocolate poo starter

you are brought a main ... 

a huge pile of fried pork sausages in batter 




*******************




n speaking of chocolate pooo 

how about some 

toilet shaped goblets 

very shakespearean they use to 

say put that in your 

bowles its part of the 5000 creed 




***********************


n conflicting bartering 

haggling for stuff 

1702

apart from the chocolate poo 

talking and interacting with people 

burns up alot of calories 

especially if you do it live ... 

inventions ... cloud bed

whatever the doll is happy with 

310114 

n the pulleys n ski lifts 

you might have one doll resting on a moon 




280114 1021

a baby girl snail/tortoise walker called a trundler 



**********************


3pm 270114

i want a series of pulleys and ski lifts for my character dolls

so that they can rest in hammocks and swings 

on the ceiling. If your child has limited 

space they might want the same ...


2026

musical plates ... you know how they 

sometimes are ... 

why not make crockery n cutlery 

specifically designed to make tunes 




*********************



electrocuted lamp 

when you turn it on shows a tortured face 


260114 630am 

a cloud bed is one with a duvet underneath as well as on top 

a heavenly bed would be a four poster 

with clouds stars n a shiny sun 

with the two duvets arrangement 

decluttering / how to magically clean the house

20 ways of looking at my clutter 



4 its dispraxia 

3 if you really wanted you would do it 

2 its because i get attacked alot 

1 you're trying to keep people out 


********************

some of it could go in the loft 

thats like od death row for stuff 

i need to declutter for my 

four year old nephew 

260114 954

trying to be ruthless with it 

i got stuck on my childhood bears 

n a box of letters from ex boyfriends 

neither of which are usable 

artwork brainstorm

gallery 19

can you get a life please 

i don't want you communicating with me 

through the wall 

i don't want you to use the window as a door 

i know that you  are lonely 

that you have never had a shared experience

with anyone 

at least not recently 

i am not here to fill up your loneliness

can you get a life please 

i don't want you communicating 

with me through the wall 

i don't want you to talk to me through 

the computer screen 

can you get a life please 





240114 1145am 

rude food aversion therapy

1056

chocolate poo

chocolate fondant made into a turd shape 

with wee lemonade 

and a vomit dessert mashed 

the most sickly things imaginable 





************

2031

I've done my strawberry and beetroot salad 

its nice 

i chose Tesco sweetfire beetroot with onions 

some mixed baby leaves , low sugar swiss chocolate 

with 85% cocoa to grate and mint leaves 

tangy 

n served with a piri piri pizza 

low sugar chocolate a taste worth acquiring ... 

more chocolate less sugar 

n the coffee pizza i guess would have some 

grated coffee beans on it 

a tiramisu pizza 

n i voted this a vegetable salad ... 

Alice through the lens

is a chapter of the Catwalk Sisters/ Birderer story 




from a couple of days ago or so 

the baby girls puppet

n she also takes her place as one of the cyber children 

n this one is Devs ( oven typo )

240114 915am 

has been found by Toaster Productions 

that did the workshop 

she was lying in the road ... 

240114 

i collect her next Thursday 

her mouth came off n i left it like that 

cus she doesnt have a voice 

apparenlty mermaids can't talk either 

but they can sing 

this happened to me when i had laryngitis 

20 ways of interpreting the lost puppet

1.  its really grief about Sophie 

2 .  it draws positive attention to disability 

3.  the loss brought out alot of emotion 


4.  to demonstrate that a toy could come alive 

5.   its the first time anyone has wanted a disabled doll ... 

6.   perhaps i should manufacture them to sell 

7.   the emotions it brought me were unbelievably cruel 

8.   life at its most bastardly 

9.   took it 

10. its gong to a child that really needed it 

11. she was also stolen by 

12. God has forsaken me 

13. it proves there is no God 

14. people are fighting over a disabled doll 

240114

15. i have to be on my best behaviour to get her back 

16. they'll take her anyway ( nb Toaster Productions 
claim to have found her in the road ) 

17. they havent really found her