Thursday, 12 December 2024

re edit page 5 the underworld

 

clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK ;

hunnie,  throw , clockwork , cloud
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed the book into AI
I opt out of it being use to train AI. i dont consent to have the author in my other friendships

121224

so a mostly good childhood apart from mothers mental illness and suicide , which puts Lizzy on the wrong track in life , she soliders on through university until she leaves home and then the shit hits the fan with her squatting and meeting very streetwise people who run rings around her , asking her for money for drugs and sharing the drugs with her , getting her to put them up and make beds for them , cook food, and give counsel
 
Lizzy steps out of a privileged life into the underworld aged 21 when she and her brother open a squat to live in . Chadwell street in fact in London , they get in the back window and change the lock . She is with Jez . Its a charming house they only have for a few weeks before the neighbours get them kicked out . the church bells have a special spooky melancholy to them as they probably still do . its a beautiful georgian house with eggshell blue paint . inside the walls are peeling and they paint some of the rooms. Lizzy paints a big sun on a light blue background in the living room . young people from all walks of life gather around at the squat and they cook rice and vegetables with grated cheese . there is not enough to go round and you learn to wolf down your food before someone says ' gis a bit ' . Wolfing it becomes a life long habit even when you find a safer place to live .  they have parties and music jams , people with dreadlocks teaching them songs and guitar riffs. Lizzy has a cello she uses to jam on late into the night with her brother Bud . its all sex drugs n rock n roll . Boy do they have a good time . they play fight like animals , and jump around to the music . Men keep hitting on her which she enjoys , shes young and fit and wears short skirts
 
she has a job in an architecture firm but doesnt stay long as shes becoming mentallly unwell . she tries to iron her blue pastel suit with a frying pan which stains it.  she takes a job in a jewellery packing firm for a while which is fun there in the East End of London , there are parties that are out of this world , they really know a good time those east enders . Just like the tv series actually . theyre very ' direct ' with each other as they say these days . Packing jewellery there with the radio on , some of her best times. one time the ladies all stand up and give Lizzy a talk about not getting married ! apperently they have had an awful time of it feeling under the control of their husbands . Wierd that they all stood up for that 

the people at that factory had ' beaten the ego ' and that was a theme at the squat too . How to enjoy yourself without becoming big headed . Became a quest for the ambitious Lizzy
 
Lizzy also works in a bakery and a green grocers  , preferring manual work that leaves her mind free to roam and exercises her body which is frustrated after all those years in academia

they smoke alot of cannabis at the squat , she loses all her routine and structure , is diagnosed with ME and never regains herself . its fun though there are colourful characters at the squat , musicians , poets , reallly funny people, they have jams , parties , gatherings , singing with guitars , a magical time there , and of course they think they will change the world , the word at the time is ' aware ' , before woke comes in . there are also spiritual gurus , some of which are predatory , but Lizzy doesnt really know the difference she is just enchanted with this new world she has discovered after 21 years in academia. finding furniture on the streets and bringing it home in a shopping trollley , even picking up vegetables from the streets on market days

Lizzy tries to seek help for her mental health , but a doctor and his student laugh at her and that puts her off . A therapist sitswith her hand between her legs in a provocative way and that also contributes to a sense that Lizzy cant be helped . So there she is plunged into a world of mental health patients and drug addicts standing up to the monsters all by herself with no skills . She starts the relationship with Mike which is also a very colourful experience . She gains weight trying to protect herself . And embarks on a quest to help people with their disorders , with no training or experience . Taking all the blame when it goes pear shaped 
 
like that saturday night thriller from the 70s set in a psychiatric hospital  where a character called ' Kisselhund ' accosts you in a locked room 

with her model looks she could be an actress but she has some idea that her ambition is to be her authentic self . To follow her heart and soul and be real rather than treading the boards as someone else . and the London underworld is her chosen setting , to fall in love, to feel passion
 
she has perfect skin , very long legs and is slim and pretty with short hair 

she is gormless and has no street skills plus some people find her condesending , so if they arent hitting her theyll be giving her verbal abuse and blaming her for everything that had ever happened to them . Part of her yearns to go back to the middle class life and her studies . which in later years she does. But when medications are reduced , this trap door opens up beneath her that reminds her of her life in the underworld and how exciting it is , the adrenalin and feeling intensely alive . And shed try to live in both worlds  ending up burned out

she is living the dream dating the sexy bad boys of the underworld , rough and raw wolves . She is easily led and gullible and very emotionally vulnerable

it is not always the case that she could fall back on her family who are very hurt and betrayed by her new life . Lizzy is  psychotic and very alienated from them . She feels she has to put on an act and is estranged from her Dad for 3 years , sometimes having to go sleep outside after a fight with Mike . Even when she does finally join them she is under a glass floor having to care for her addict brother who is very abusive for a number of years . Lacking the confidence and energy to strike out on her own 

her sexuality also gives her courage and makes the painful times worth while. As her stepmother points out she couldnt leave Mike until that happens physically . Strictly speaking youre supposed to be single for a while after a break up , but the hold he has on her is so strong that it takes falling in love with someone else to break it , falling in love with Simon and being around his group of friends creates a new life for her , a new sex life that alters the frequency of her thoughts and he also helps her to get out of the squat and into supported housing , where they entertain friends and watch porn together . they remain friends even after they break up , in fact she tries to get back with him after they break up , she sleeps with him then finds hes with someone else , which creates a heart break in her that is difficult to come back from . she becomes very depressed for a couple of years and tries to do therapeutic activities with the mental health community 

and Mike she thinks might have tried to kill himself in her home , she finds him unconscious on the floor and calls an ambulance . he wanted to marry her and that was not to be , shes not ready for marriage at that point even at 35 years old , even though its the best sex , she would more likely marry Simon 
 
re edited 131224 10 pm  , edited 050125
 
131224
 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment