clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed the book into AI
I opt out of it being used to train AI the book is entirely fictional
edited 090125
its
like she is some kind of born again Guy Fawkes / Robin Hood kind of
character before treatment grinds her down into an unpaid carer . Shes a tank girl , Lara Croft kind of character. She
hits poverty when she meets Mike around 1982 , and is on and off benefits .
They eat rice and baked beans with onions carrots and ginger , and
make toast on his electric fire . Some days all she'd have is be a
bag of Bombay Mix or a flapjack . Finding 20 p on the streets means
a joyful cup of tea , beans on toast a rare treat
she
loses teeth from malnutrition , cant afford buses and trains , she
develops M.E. and her mental health deteriorates . But also a joyful
time that makes her appreciate the small things in life . She has
nowhere to go when they fight and will sometimes sleep outside , which these days in London is OK it feels quite safe , especially in the
centre where there are bars open all night and people milling around
Leicester Square , playing guitars . its not like that any more ,
although shes not been there she knows it isnt . Even though she is a
very attractive young woman she feels quite invincible
even sleeping at Euston Station she wakes up to a man pissing on the ground next to her head . Counting herself lucky he didnt actually piss on her . Some other guys take her for a cup of tea and are offended when she has to leave, thinking they were in a relationship . Other times she has been followed at night but that is more in Brighton than in London . Shes been very lucky . A man follows her outside a treatment center at 8 pm in the dark and gets on her bus . She somehow manages to lose him , probably because the bus is crowded
there
is a wonderful busker in London called Bruno , she can never find him on the
internet , but his haunting ballads are always with her . one of his
lines was ' see me bleeding on the floor ' about a lost romance . Bruno
is playing his guitar when the police put Mike in their van for
disturbing the peace with Lizzy screaming to let him go . Brunos songs
are full of soul and yearning
Lizzy
is quite volatile with her family so that they cant do much to help
and have to ' let her experience the consequences of her life choices '
occasionally giving a meal or a tenner for some food . She'll present
them with drawings of London street scapes which they are delighted
with . They keep her piano so that she can have a tinkle on it when
she visits . One time she stays the night at Dads and she pisses in
the waste paper basket is how unwell she is. She advises her dad to go
to therapy about the family issues which makes him really mad and he
asks her to leave
the
hardships of her life give her courage joy and clarity , even though
she cant afford a cheese sandwich . She and Mike cant afford
therapy , so they go to whereever there might be some free help ,
religious organisations , mosques , healers, gurus , some of which may
be cults . But somehow theyd not get trapped in them , leaving
before they get baptised . Gospel churches are helpful and promise to
drive the devil out of them . One of the healers says that Lizzy is '
carrying the guilt of her whole family ' an idea she has never really
understood
these days you can walk into the Samaritans and have tea with them . on one occasion she sits there for five hours !
another
time they go in there together and see a guy called Alan who becomes
exasperated by their relationship , they call him Alan the Atom after
he explodes with rage. He is a nice man it isnt his fault ! But the
help she is getting doesnt really add up to anything meaningful or
consistent , the ptsd is untreated and her family despair for her
the
interviews with the dwp dont really help to address all this either . Being
asked if you can touch your toes or take a pen out of your pocket is
kind of demeaning rather than helpful . She feels re-traumatised when
she is assessed remembering all that , how degrading and humiliating it
is , and her brain feels like it goes to factory default . She starts
dreaming of assisted dying . which would be a victory for certain people if she were to do that ...
and
her sex life is some consolation when she feels someone has invited her
to have a wank about them, it all feels very glamorous and creative ,
and helps to alleviate some of her anger and fear and something she can
do from her bed , about once a week , and writes poetry and songs
about it , so they can guess who it is about !
after Mike B's brain operation its not long before they split up . Actually its him that breaks up with her citing ' her attitude ' , n shes single for the first time in her adult life . She does courses and voluntary work , but its not easy being single and her mental health is on a slippery slope . N then she meets Trevor . And her red shoes are dancing out of control
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