clockwork is on the war path
Al fayed is innocent , please can you not abduct Dev for mating duties
this blog is copyright of LIZARIKK , throw , clockwork
harpie , bisto , chops , identity thief , bobble are not welcome
My book is called The Love Bombers by Lacey Ember
see below please , hunnie is not welcome to it , she wants to feed the book into AI
I opt out of it being used to train AI
she experienced emotional extremes going from one bad relationship to another , not really allowing for her grief . And the difficulty being consistent for the new guy with that going on . enough to break your soul
soulbreak
how does her disability affect her ?she crosses over the road when people are trying to spray her with germs . There are articles in the paper written for her. Hundreds of people try to watch her in her bedroom . shes been told this is paranoid schizophrenia and forcibly medicated for it. she has maybe a third of the energy of a neurotypical . The medication stops her screaming at people in the streets . she has no agency and people take advantage of her , she gets used to fill in gaps in social care, because of her caring nature and inability to ' work ' . her work goes unrecognised and unappreciated. she has suicidal thoughts
being almost bed bound she has alot of fun with cyber sex sometimes with normies, sometimes other disabled people . she has bursts of creativity when shes up and about . And some people feel she has become powerful as is also the author who is also stuck at home on her computer
she was born at home in 1964 , her mother was 18 and using nothing but gas. While Dad was 17 and played the guitar during the birth. There was a cherry blossom tree outside the window in Richmond. Mum felt weak afterwards so Dad changed Lizzies nappies for the first two weeks. Maybe explains why shes trusting of men . she was yellow with a pointed head and someone left a bottle of wine outside the door with no note
her earliest memory was her first birthday being carried into a darkened room where there was a cake lit with candles and the family sat around underlit , an exciting memory that epecially she remembers her Dads sister there . And when her brother was born a year later she was trying to help him get to know the teddy bears , travellling around in an enormous pram . Dad would continue to play guitar at their bed sides , mainly Donovans windy city and hush little baby .
when she was 5 they got divorced and Mum moved to the suburbs where she was sexually abused by both grand parents .
when Lizzy was 5 she had a kind of a ' sensual relationship ' with another 5 year old. In which they did pretty much everything short of actually having sex . Lizzy had not been exposed to any adult material at that age , but maybe the boy was. he invited another girl to join them but she walked off . The boys mother came in and was a bit disturbed by what she saw and said we're going out to the park now . i guess the permissive 60s affected even the children , there were other children at nursery school that wanted to do intimate things like that in West Hampstead in the late 1960s playing ' doctors and nurses ' , spanking games etc. Lizzy didnt think of it as anything particulary unsual and no adults or older children were involved
Lizzy as a child was spooked by ghosts and visions. Screaming for help thinking the bed was covered in spiders , a cupboard door blown open by the wind, in an old house in northumberland . Because there were two stair cases in that old house with crumbling wall paper and a smell of moth balls . it was freezing even in the summer . and youd get up early sweep the grate and make a fire before other people were awake
She felt that the adults where ' not really there ' , that nobody was really there in fact . there was alot of drinking going on every day
mum kept up a valliant effort until Lizzy and Bud were teenagers when their nonchalant behaviour broke her spirit and brought out her schizophrenic behaviour . she would level accusations particularly at Lizzy who she felt was too concerned with her studies and not paying enough attention to her . She made 18 suicide attempts before she succeeded . Lizzy was at Dads house so Bud was on his own with mum when she died. She made to shush him to stop him calling the ambulance so one can only imagine the grief and trauma that he has gone through
Lizzy in her teens had crushes on Adam Ant and Mick Jagger both of whom she had seen live . Along with Freddie Mercury at Wembly . Lizzy lacked confidence because of her mothers illness and would feel thwarted in getting the boy she wanted . So had a habit of dating the friend of the boy she really wanted . There was an A Level study course at Oxford and a boy there that looked like Jagger , who Lizzy managed to get off with in fact she tried and failed to lose her virginity with him . He asked her to ' put some effort into it ' ! He had to go back to Devon where he had a girlfriend but turned up in London a few years later and was again interested in Lizzy who had anorexia by then and was in a relatiohship with Jez
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